Hannah Rose, 29, suffered an illness at the age of 15 which
paralysed her from the neck down. After years of struggle she’s managed to get
her life back on track and has written a book about her story from when she was
an able-bodied child to her life now. Her outlook on life is extremely positive; her story, though devastating, is ultimately uplifting and she is undoubtedly a role model for
us all.
Hannah, firstly
congratulations on writing your first book! How does it feel to have put your
unbelievable story into words?
Thank you very much! It feels
quite surreal to be honest. It's been a long time in the making and I can't
believe it's actually finished! I need to start enjoying it now rather than
worrying about every little detail. It feels great to actually see a result of
all the hard work.
Can you quickly describe
for anyone who doesn’t know you or hasn’t read the book yet what happened to
you when you were 15?
I was in year 10 at high school
and studying for exams. I started to feel a dull ache in between my shoulder
blades which was just a niggling pain at first but the pain started to increase
over the next few days. I thought I might have pulled a muscle whilst playing
netball so I just tried to cope with it. Since I was doing exams I didn't want
to take any time off school, so I persevered. It gradually became worse and I
started to get strange sensations in my legs. One leg felt hot and the other
felt cold and it was at that point I thought that something was strange. That
evening the pain became unbearable and I was up all night with my mum and went
to the doctors the next day. By this time my legs had become weak and I’d
developed a limp. The doctor was worried and sent me straight to the Countess
of Chester hospital where they performed an MRI scan. They found that I had
swelling on my spinal cord and sent me to Alder Hey Children’s Hospital that
same day. When I arrived at Alder Hey the doctors were unsure of the prognosis.
They thought that I’d only be there for a couple of weeks and that I’d make a
full recovery. But over the next couple of days I gradually lost movement in my
legs and then my arms and I was unable to breathe as the swelling had affected
the top of my spinal cord. I was then in intensive care for 5 months and on a
high dependency unit for 10. I was left totally paralysed from the neck down
and reliant on a ventilator for breathing.
At the beginning of
the book you talk a lot about your childhood. How important was it that people
got to know what you were like before the illness took place?
 |
| Hannah, Jessica & Naomi with their grandparents |
That was one of the main reasons
that I wanted to do the book. It's important to me that people know that I had
a very normal lovely childhood before this happened and I don't think of myself
as a person with a disability. I just think of myself as that same person that
I was before all this happened. I want people to know that I’ve experienced
being an able bodied person as well as a person with a disability. Also, I have
so many lovely memories and although it’s sad that I can't do a lot of things
that I used to do I want to remember and cherish those times.
Overall the book is
extremely uplifting but
obviously there are dark and honest moments when things just seem to get worse
and worse. For example you are first diagnosed, then there’s the period of
deterioration, your lung collapse, intensive care, the extremely difficult year
in 2011. Just one of those things would crush a lot of people. Your mum and dad
were told to expect the very worst.
What was it like revisiting those darker times?
It was quite unbelievable
thinking back to those dark periods. It was almost as if I was talking about
someone else and someone else's family. Especially hearing mum and dads
thoughts at that horrible time because I don't think you appreciate the strain that
a parent is under when their child is so poorly until you reach an age when you
gain that understanding. I honestly don’t know how any of us got through that
period of time.
Some of the darker
moments in the book talk about the possibility of ending your life when you
couldn’t see an end to the situation. How did you manage to snap yourself out
of such a depressed state of mind?
I had a lot of support from my
parents and they’d always try to make me see the positive side of things. They’re
very good at listening and letting me have those sad times without endlessly trying
to cheer me up. They understand that sometimes you need to feel rubbish and get
your feelings out; to keep it bottled up can be really unhealthy. My dad
constantly reminds me that I do have lots of lovely times with my family and
friends and I often think to myself would I really have wanted to miss out of
these days? You have to keep a happy memory bank in your head and think of
those times when you’re at your absolute lowest point. I think distracting
yourself also helps and throwing myself into my studies was definitely a coping
mechanism. It was important to me to keep some normality in my life.
Your positive
attitude shines through in the book and I must add that you’re a true
inspiration to me and everyone who knows you. I’m sure you hear this a lot but
I don’t think many people could be able to handle what you’ve been through and
come out at the other side at all, let alone with such a positive outlook on
life. You are an extremely strong person. Even throughout the long period in
intensive care you still managed to stay positive and try and do ‘normal
things’ such as sitting your GCSE’s, you even got your belly button pierced!
How did you manage to stay so positive, or is it just your natural personality?
Thank you so much! I think that
reality hadn’t set in whilst I was in intensive care. When you’re in hospital I
think that you have a mind-set that you’re just poorly at that period of time
and when you go home everything will just go back to normal. I think that I
wasn't positive at that time I was just in a bit of denial. However now I do
try and stay positive because if I didn't I don't think I’d do anything! A lot
of the time I am genuinely happy however I still have the odd bad day like
anyone else. I think that you’ve just got to enjoy what you can do and try not
to focus on the things that you can't. It also helps having such a positive
support network around me and I don't know if I would be the person that I am
today without that.
After 481 days in
intensive care you finally returned home. What was that like, I’m sure it was a
mixture of emotions?
It was very strange. On one hand
it was lovely to be out of the hospital but on the other hand reality really
set in when I came back through my front door. I was coming back to my family
home in a totally different situation than how I left it. When I think back I
think that I have blocked out quite a lot of these memories as the whole
experience was so surreal. Even when I am talking to you now, I feel like I am
talking about a different person. I was coming back into a house where I would
never be able to go upstairs again, never be able to run around the garden and
never be able to be left alone. I think it all hit me very hard and that’s when
the depression started. All my childhood memories are in this house and it’s
lovely to remember them but it’s quite sad being unable to do the same things I
used to.
In the book you
mention how you suffered from panic attacks when going out to public places
after it all happened. Often you felt scared, helpless or generally just didn’t
want to be stared at. How long has it taken you to feel confident going out in
public?
It’s taken a very long time. I
remember saying to my dad that I never wanted to go out and be seen in public
ever again and he always reassured me that I would do it when I was ready. He
was right. It started with little steps but I started to grow in confidence and
I can't imagine ever feeling like that now.
You have unbelievable
friends who have helped you throughout your entire struggle and continue to be
in your life today. But what truly comes across in this book is the strength of
your family; in particular your mum Fran. You write in the book: “Many
mentioned how I was in their prayers and the more cynical side of me would
respond ‘Well their prayers haven’t worked’. Mum would reply, ‘They have
Hannah, because you’re still here’. I had never thought of it that way
before”. How much did she help you in
your mental recovery?
 |
| Fran & Hannah |
She’s helped me tremendously. She’s
amazing! She always listens to me when I’m upset which I know is hard for her
because I know how I feel when I see her upset. We’re so similar in our personalities
which is sometimes hard as we can read each other really well. She's always so
optimistic and always helps me see the positive side of things. She has a lot
to deal with but always manages to be there for me when I need her. I don't
know what I would do without her.
A huge factor in
boosting your positivity was your dog Bella. How did she help you?
She gave me a reason to get up
and get out each day and I know it sounds cheesy but she’d stay by me all the
time as a constant companion. She motivated me to leave the house and gave me
so much enjoyment over the years. She was the greatest dog ever!
Your sisters have
obviously helped to take care of you since the illness began. Jess in particular
seems very protective of you in one of the anecdotes mentioned towards the end
of the book. How have they been there for you over the past 14 years?
 |
| Jessica, Hannah & Naomi |
They’ve been absolutely
brilliant! They’re always willing to help out and treat me exactly how they did
before all of this happened. They’ve had to put up with a lot and I don't want
people to underestimate how hard it’s been for them. It must be difficult for
them seeing me unable to do a lot of things that I used to do and I’d never
want them to feel guilty about anything that they do. We have a good
relationship and we often laugh and joke about the situation. If you didn't
laugh you would just cry. It's so important to me that we still do things as a
family and I think that what’s happened has made our relationship stronger.
The book shows
triumph through adversity with you achieving great things such as passing your
GCSE’s, A Levels, University and then going on to secure a job with the
Cheshire Police. Your friend Celia says “GCSE’s, A-Levels, university…Hannah’s
attitude has always been, ‘Why shouldn’t I do it?’ She has never let adversity
stop her and I think that’s amazing”. You’ve achieved so much, what message do
you wish to send out to your readers?
I want people to realise that you
can still carry on with life and reach your goals despite challenges that you
may face along the way. There are always people worse off than yourself and you
should try and make the most of what you have. Life's too short!
Could you please sum
up your life right now and give your readers an idea of where you’re at in
terms of your life goals.
I’ve achieved a lot of what I
have wanted to achieve but there’s still a lot more than I want to do in my
life. My main goal at the moment is to move out and live independently. I’d
like to do all the normal things like meet someone, get married and have a
family and if anything else happens after all that it would be a bonus!
Finally, what are
your plans for the future? Will there be a volume 2? A film?
I’d love to do a volume 2! I just
hope that enough will happen in my life for me to write about it! A film would
be absolutely amazing but very unlikely! I’d probably spend too much time
worrying about who'll play me!
‘Hannah, Same Both Ways’ is available to buy at Waterstones,
Amazon, WHSmith and Foyle’s.
It comes strongly
recommended by everyone who’s read it!
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